The Beating Heart
by Hawthorn7
Summary: grimmjowXorihime.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: Characters not mine. Review and critique encouraged.

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That incessant noise, the rhythmic 'ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum'. I can always hear it, or if I don't, I feel it. It's in my fingertips, making them throb, that annoying… pulse of life. Misplaced. And when I get closer to her, that throbbing starts to corrupt my feet and up my arms until, when I'm standing right next to her, I can feel it up the back of my spine, pushing something, not blood, through my veins. It's not natural. No, it's _too _natural. In a world like this one, it just doesn't fit. Even Aizen's heart beats differently.

The girls, they wanna be her. They're all wicked jealous 'cause she's got a heart and they don't. That's what makes her so much like a breath of fresh air to Aizen-sama. The guys? Ah… To each his own. I can't speak for the lot of those monkeys, but I have to admit, that girl's got the tits. Second thing I noticed anyway, right after the heartbeat.

So annoying… It's infuriating at times. Gatta go all the way to the other side of the compound to get some rest. Otherwise it's ringin' in my ears. Makes me wanna put a stop to it, you know? Shut it up. Just reach in and squish it.

I knew she was in her room 'cause as I made my way towards that general area, I could hear it in there. Hadn't planned on donning her doorstep if it weren't for the sudden rapid increase, the sound of fear bangin' like drums in my head. I'm surprised no one else heard it. So I went to investigate, like any good underling would.

Heard some rustling… shouting… Inoue was getting the crap kicked out of her. I figured I'd scare the shit out of Lolly and that other good-for-nothing so I broke the door down with some pretty lights and a smoke show - make it look like the lone cowboy came to save her. Hey- why not? It worked. They were pissin' themselves. Couldn't even get my name out without stuttering. 'Damn straight' is all I can say to that.

Killed one, broke another one's leg and was planning on leaving her, but she kept hollering. Sounded like a f&ing goose. I stomped on her throat. By the time I was done with the two of them, Inoue was looking up at me like a pathetic wounded animal. No, a deer. A wounded deer. Deer will just look up at you and shake, kinda' like they're waiting for you to put 'em out of their misery. For a second there, I was seriously contemplating doing it.

"Wh… Why…?" she asked with her big doe eyes. Yeah, if I were her, I'd be confused too.

"To repay the debt of healing my left hand," I told her.

'Such a weak little thing', I thought as she sat so crumpled on the ground. I could. I wanted to. I didn't. Aizen and all… F$ing, mother fr Tousen would cut off my arm again. Or worse. One of these days… As soon as I'm not shackled by rank… or Aizen-sama's plans. Of course.

And then suddenly she was looking at me like I'd just blown her away. I thought quickly, better do something fast or else she's going to think I'm not such a bad guy after all. Couldn't let that happen. I dug my fingers into the collar of her shirt and heaved her up off the ground. She was as limp as a wet noodle and went wherever I dragged her. If I were a four-year-old, I'd attach strings to her and put on a show.

"What - what are you doing?" she was tired, and she was no longer looking at me like I had potential. That, I was relieved by.

"What am I doing?" I reiterated. "Do you really think I'm here to save you? That's too naïve!!!"

The fact of it was, that was the reason I was there. Not 'cause I liked her and her annoying heart, but because of Aizen.

And before I knew it, more excuses were flying out of my mouth, "I've repaid the favor owed to you. Do you still have any opinions now?" She was silent. I grinned up at her like I had something on my mind, "So it's time for you to do me another favor."

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What I had with Inoue was like a mutual relationship. Like ah… birds and buffalos. You know. Birds eat the flies attracted by the buffalos, buffalos attract the flies for the birds to eat. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. That kind of thing. Nobody likes Inoue except Aizen, Gin, and maybe Ulquiorra, but the jury's still out on that one. Nobody knows what he likes. I'm sticking with nine year old boys, though.

The bottom line is that Aizen likes her, which puts her in a position to sway him my direction sometimes, like extra dessert and nap-times on Friday, not to mention battle tactics and political advice… In exchange for her persuasive services, I was kind of like a non-official body guard when Ulquiorra was off diddling pre-pubescent boys.

Inoue was stronger than I gave her credit for in the beginning. I mean, physically, she was probably the weakest person in the entire compound. But she was strong like 'woman' strong. What do you call that? Emotionally strong? I'll admit that as long as I never have to say it. She peaked my curiosity because she kept coming up with ways to smile. They were sad, but they were still smiles, and most of the time it was to get me to do it. Smile, I mean. Never worked. She still tried.

The more time we spent together, the more she became casual around me. She wasn't so scared anymore. Her heartbeat didn't elevate as often. I didn't care like I used to though. Way I figure, who was she going to tell?

We'd been sitting on that small couch in her room, next to the window. It was a normal thing to not speak to each other., only because we had nothing to say. We had nothing in common, no similar interests, I hated her friends and the subject wouldn't be a pleasant one if I were to bring it up. So we just sat, me acting like one of those citronella candles, keeping the 'mosquitoes' away.

She fell asleep. She fell asleep on my shoulder. She didn't start out that way but kind of kept moving towards me. I didn't know if she knew she was doing it or not. I think the kid was so starved for comfort that she was seeking anything out.

Orihime cries in her sleep. No sounds, no expressions, just a couple of tears. For a while I was beginning to think she wasn't capable - I hadn't seen her cry.

Ba-dum…… ba-dum…… ba-dum…… Steady and slow.

I took her arm, the one closest to me, and gently dragged her from my shoulder over my lap. She stirred and slowly was lifted out from of her light sleep, eyes fluttering open into slender crescents, pupils shifting around, trying to find me. They met me when she reclined her head back, exposing her throat to me. She was in a half-conscious daze. Her honey-dipped hair draped over my thighs and tickled the skin of my stomach just above my waistline. Every motion was very deliberate, slow, and full of grace.

"…Grimmjow… What are you doing…?"

She was the one to break the silence with a weak voice, meek, somewhere behind a wall it sounded like. I had to ask myself whether or not I had actually heard it.

"Relax," I said, looking down at her, yet tilting my face up towards the ceiling at the same time. "I was uncomfortable. Go back to sleep."

Her back was resting on my lap, body curved up from there to where her head was cradled in the curve of the inside of my elbow where it rested on the couch. Her face was pointed towards me, and sank until I got a three-quarter view from a back angle, watching her ear and the curve of her cheek. Her arm was laying against her side lifelessly. I couldn't see the other one, but I assumed it was beneath her somewhere. She closed her eyes and pretended to rest. I say pretended because her heartbeat had sped up slightly. Yeah, her eyes were closed, but she was thinking…

I let my arm dangle along the back of the couch and watched her.

"I didn't… expect any of this…" she whispered. "…When I was a girl, I dreamed of becoming a teacher… or a nurse… My problems were getting good grades and trying to avoid Ichigo… When I woke up that morning, I didn't expect to spend the night …here."

"M hm," I replied, more of a grunt than anything else. "Yeah, well, life throws a buncha shit at you. Some more than others."

"…I'm glad to have helped where I could," she went on. Her voice began to collect a hopeless tone to it, "…but sometimes…" she hesitated, as if the words were stuck to the roof of her mouth, "…I think… maybe… it was more trouble than it was worth. Maybe I should have just stayed ignorant. Maybe things would be better for everyone…"

I frowned, "This place gettin' to you that fast?"

She turned her head back up to look at me, blinking. I could still see the remnants of the silent tears. She was expecting me to explain. I didn't really wanna, but I did, letting my tongue slid over my lips, thinking about how to phrase it. I wasn't good at words of comfort - or even neutrality. I wasn't trying to comfort her.

"This place saps the goodness outta people. It taxes your mind and forces people to lose hope. It's all that negative energy in the air, keeping the plants dead and the hollows frustrated. We don't have hope here. We have fact and the sad reality of things."

"You're saying it's natural for me to feel like this? That it's not just me?"

I shrugged. Again, I didn't want her to think I was comforting her. I wasn't. Just sayin'. I think I accidentally did it anyway.

It had made it to the point where there was nothing to say again. Orihime curled up a little more and nuzzled my arm in an attempt to go back to sleep. I don't know how long it was that we stayed like that, but eventually I had to leave. Ulquiorra walked in, looking all blank and unreadable.

He didn't say anything but looked at me as if telepathically waving a finger at me or something. I was out of it and didn't give a f, so all I did was sneer at him lazily.

"I don't have to tell you where your place is again, do I?" he asked me quietly as not to wake her, floating like a ghost across the floor.

Again, I only gestured, this time with my middle finger extended up at him.

"Right…" he replied. "You have to leave now."

"Yeah, I got it." I slid my arms beneath the girl and lifted her up. She barely moved, curling up against my chest. I moved her over to her bed and set her down. She stirred when I fell away and stuffed my hands - now free at last - into my pockets, gingerly walking towards the door without looking back. I could feel Ulquiorra's eyes boring into my head.

Yeah, we all like Orihime, and loathed her at the same time. It was that heart of her's.


	2. Chapter 2

His steps matched the pace of her heart, but didn't make any sound. I think he heard it too. I normally wouldn't have bothered. It's none of my business until they make it my business. Ulquiorra made it my business.

"I think you should forbid Grimmjow from visiting Inoue Orihime," said the monotone arrancar, starting up, way up, at the throned Aizen Sousuke, unblinking and oh-so-serious.

"Why?" Aizen-sama replied, fingers like spiders legs flattening against his cheek where they held his head.

"They're getting close," Ulquiorra thought that would be enough explanation, but Aizen's wordless reply revealed that it wasn't. "He holds power over Inoue and feeds her ideas which she then relays to you. He's using her to get to you and override the rest of us. I feel it would be a wise decision to place a strict limit on his contact with the girl."

His hands were behind his back like the good little soldier he was.

Suddenly, Aizen's head rolled back and he called out to me, "What is your defense, Grimmjow?"

I came out from around the corner with my head sunken between my shoulders, hands in pockets, taking my time so Ulquiorra could get a good look at the guy he didn't sense who had been following him for some time.

"Aizen-sama," I addressed him, bowing my head. "In my defense, I think Ulquiorra is just jealous I've been doing his job. Been doing it better, too."

"It's not your job, Grimmjow. I gave it to Ulquiorra for a reason." He was talking to me like I was a kid.

And suddenly I was stuck with nothing to counter with.

"She's lonely," I blurted.

Aizen's face broke its cool, complacent demeanor to slowly raise one of those sleek brown eyebrows, "…And you're helping her…?"

"Uh… yeah." I had to struggle to not form that sentence into a question.

"You," Ulquiorra chimed.

"Yeah!" my face twisted into another sneer, followed by the lashing out of my arms. "What's so hard to believe about that?!"

My brother scratched the back of his neck and diverted his eyes away from the scene I was making.

"I don't see any harm in it yet, Ulquiorra…" our lord had made his decision. "She's a good influence on Grimmjow."

And that was all the fuss that was ever made about it. Until Aizen-sama brought it up and changed his mind, Ulquiorra would just have to stare at me and be jealous that I got to have the girl with the beating heart sleeping on my lap.

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She greeted me with a big hug, throwing her arms around my neck as if she hadn't seen me in years. She did it in front of everybody too, and if rumors hadn't already started, they'd start now. My eyes shifted to see their gawking faces. I couldn't hug her back because of them. I had to slip away and tell her not to do that, then shove her off back to her room. Her head was down the whole time as if I had publicly scolded her. Why'd she do that? Did she need some kind of confirmation?

"You know how lonely it is here?" she asked me when we got back to her room. Her voice had reason. I couldn't possibly understand, could I? How lonely it is here. How does she think I got all my thorns? 'Cause Daddy beat me?

"Orihime," I whirled around on her and grabbed her shoulders, stopping her before she started, "don't. Just don't. Don't ever talk to me like a teenage girl because I will shut you up, and you won't like it."

She nodded vigorously, "O-Okay. Sorry…"

I didn't decide to take advantage of how we were standing. I just kind of did it without thinking. That's always how these kinds of things go. I'm so much taller than her though, I had to bend my knees as well as lean over.

I didn't kiss her, but rather caught her mouth with mine, dodging that hunk of mask so the whole thing was off center. It felt a little funny at first - don't remember the last time I kissed anyone. You don't have to kiss someone to have sex. It's on a completely different level.

"No," she broke it quickly, a second after it had began, shaking her head and shutting her eyes tight like I was some kind of bad dream. "You-You're… You're…"

"…Evil?" I finished. She was thinking it. I know she was. I got confirmation that she was when her whole body kind of slumped, face to the floor. I closed my eyes half way, looking down on her, and straightened back out, no longer gripping her shoulders but sinking my hands back into my pockets. "Alright. Whatever." If she thought I was evil, I was going to let her think that.

I turned my back to her and started for that wall with the high window. Really, the room was built like a prison cell. A couple of moments of silence drifted around us, only it wasn't exactly silent for me.

Ba-dum……ba-dum….ba-dum.. ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum

A pair of small, dainty arms weaved through the crooks of my arms and wrapped around my stomach just above the gaping hole. Her fingers spread over the muscle, trying to touch as much as possible. I hadn't noticed how dry my mouth was until that exact moment.

"I don't believe in evil," I heard her say. "I know sometimes… there is malicious intent behind things… but I can't truly believe that there is anything in existence that is pure evil."

Her head fell against my back and I could feel how warm she was through the fabric of my shirt.

"A train of thought like that'll get you killed," I replied, mouth twitching into a half-grin. "If you weren't so protected, I bet you'd feel differently."

"Hey, I'm not so defenseless…"

"Right. You have …hairpins," my eyes rolled. She laughed. I made her laugh. Didn't mean to… I was making fun of her.

"You're not so bad," she told me.

Everything was going smoothly until she said that. It's what I'd been dreading. She thought she knew me. She had started depending on my kindness, which wasn't actually kindness but more of a lack of aggression I suppose.

It didn't take but a fraction of a second to get behind her. Her eyes opened wide as the realization sunk into her. I heard her heart skip, pounding on my fingertips.

"Depends on what you see as evil. There are degrees," I sank my foot into the small of her back and shoved her down with it. She fell slowly. Her hair drifted into the air behind her, rays of light against the bland scenery of the room. When she hit the floor, it all fell into her face and messily spilled around her shoulders, tangling. She wore a look of absolute horror.

"Would you like me to prove how bad I am, Orihime-chan?" I was crouched beside her in an instant, tracing her cheek with my index finger.

"W…W-Wha…" she stuttered and crept back.

Ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum.

Before she fell out of arm's reach, I dug my hands into her hair and yanked on it. She grabbed my wrists and yelped as I pulled her up to stand and shoved her onto her stomach against the edge of the bed.

"NO!" she gasped, piecing things together bit by bit. "NO, PLEASE!!!"

I took her arm and wrenched it behind her so she couldn't flail around, leaning over her like the big blue-haired monster I am. My mouth reached her cheek, and I whispered against it in a tone so quiet that she had to take control of her whimpering to hear it.

"I'm not gonna rape you. I can't hurt you because you belong to Aizen-sama. But know, Orihime-chan… that I am not your lap dog. I can and will kill you. I can and will do worse things than that." I released her quickly, hands flying away from her, and I stood back up. Her end was bent over, pointed right at me, and I thought of how damned easy it would be to just lift her skirt. "Now tell me how bad I'm not."

It was then that I turned and left her room, grinning at myself for a job I'd call well-done.


	3. Chapter 3

There's no such thing as sleep really. When one lives in a world of perpetual night, sleep kind of becomes a dream. It slips away and you never think about it. Only your subconscious remembers when you used to lay down and drift away to somewhere nobody really knows because you usually wake up, not remembering a thing. Since I'd arrived in Hueco Mundo, it hasn't been sleep, but periods of rest.

My room has no light, save for the glow of the moon through the large, rectangular window over in the corner of the room. It looked like a full-length mirror, but instead of seeing yourself, you see the endless night. For privacy purposes, I had it covered with drapes of a sheer material. There was just enough light to make things out.

My arm was behind my head and I was staring up at the ceiling, re-living things. All kinds of things. People say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. For me, no danger needs to be present. I remember almost everything. It helped to remember, or else I'll forget who I am. Can't have that happen.

My door opened gradually, letting in a white beam of light. It struck the wall I laid against and traveled over my covered legs. I didn't see who it was. Didn't have to.

Ba-dum… ba-dum… ba-dum…

The door clicked back into its closed position. I could hear the rustling of clothes, and as my eyes began to re-adjust to the darkness, I felt a pressure in my lap. Something very soft - like flower petals - brushed the side of my mouth. I realized - embarrassingly too long into the act - that she was kissing me. Little, gentle ones, like she didn't know what she was doing or if she was doing it right.

My hand found the back of her neck and weaved through her hair again, this time with no intention of harming her. I pulled her head towards me, forcing her to shed her gentle pecks, replacing them with something a little more provocative. She tasted like… wedding cake.

Her little hands closed against my chest. We were quiet in the darkness there. I was afraid any noise would bring hordes of hollows to my door, all to drink in this weakness that had appeared in my bedroom.

As I rolled her onto her back, she hung her arm around my neck and raked the other hand back through my hair, falling down my neck and back, playing my skin like a harp, her nails tickling my flesh and causing goosebumps to rise. I buried my face into the curve of her neck, and both of her arms closed around me, holding me tight, protecting… me… Me. Protecting _me_. She held me like she knew something about me, and pitied me for it. And, in the privacy of this inky blackness, I let her. I let her because I couldn't see myself doing it.

We kept it dark. It kept me blind. It was like when you blindfold and animal. Never dangerous until you take it off, you know? I was as harmless as a fly in that blackness. I think she knew it. I think she took advantage of me…

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I must have blacked out because I don't sleep. But, when I woke up, I heard chaos in the halls as well as the steady-beating heart of the girl beside me, dozing on my pillow. I slid from out beneath my covers and, clad in just my pants, opened the door enough to stick my head out. The light blinded me.

"Grimmjow!" an underling dashed up to my door. I looked down on him, grumpy and annoyed from being woken from whatever it was that I was doing. He shrank back some under the pressure of my gaze, "…Sir. Inoue Orihime has escaped. They've sent search teams out to retrieve her."

I raised a hand to my face and rubbed it, suddenly becoming extremely exhausted.

"Who authorized…"

"Ulquiorra."

"…F---. …Uh…. Hang on a second…" I closed my door and turned to see the thing in my covers still slumbering. I grabbed up my shirt, socks, and shoes, quickly donning everything I had laying around before stumbling into the hallway to go find Ulquiorra.

After asking around some, I found him in one of the conference rooms with a couple of the other Espada. Oh, this would be an absolute joy to explain to all of them. I opened the door and they all stared at me. My face melted in a perturbed, half-lidded, un-amused frown and I promptly shut the door again without entering. F--- that.

"Aizen-sama," I bowed low, unprepared to handle the punishment I was sure I'd receive.

"She's in your room, isn't she?" he sighed, already knowing what I was about to declare. "Honestly, Grimmjow, I didn't think you'd be _that_ friendly towards her."

"In my defense…" I pointed a finger towards the ceiling, "…she came on to me."

The crisis was adverted. Aizen-sama didn't end up doing anything to me besides telling me to inform somebody next time. I'm sure Ulquiorra shit a brick.

I think everybody assumed we had sex. We didn't, actually. In fact, she was still sleeping in her clothes. No, I could never taint something that pure, even if she begged me. We didn't do anything in my bed but enjoy each other's company.

I will admit… It was something I had needed for a long, long time.


End file.
